In the beginning...

It all began with Adam...

Adam, the first man, got to walk around naked all day with animals. He had a wife, Eve, who was created from his rib and walked around all day naked with him. All was well until Eve spent all their good will with god, ate something she wasn't supposed to eat, and then got them kicked out of their home. The metaphor of this today would be a housewife who takes care of the kids, maxes out the credit cards, and makes the family lose their house.

This has become the benchmark for all things manly since then. A man works, a woman stays home, he earns it, she spends it and it's all ok because she's the only one who can give milk to their baby from her booby.

To that, I say nay, no, nyet, non, and lo.

In modern terms, what Adam did is what's known as "biblical manliess" or in different words "As man before me did, so shall I." Obviously, this is a ludicrous. Adam had no car, no computer, no supermarket to buy his food at, and the only similarities between modern man and Adam is the E.S.P. Eats, Sleeps, Poops. In other words, anything that man can do beyond the age of 2 bears no resemblance to what Adam could do. If you don't believe me, then look at the paper in your printer with the word documents you just printed Adam didn't have that; he couldn't even read that.

What men do these days is whatever the hell a man does after he puts his pants on and walks out the door.

The battle of the 21st century is, was, and always will be between the Modern Man and Biblical Man.

And so, the battle begins...

Last week, while driving, I came up to a stop sign and waited my turn to pass through the three way stop.

The guy to my perpendicular right, who stopped after me, started to move at the same time I did. He stopped and I kept going. As I drove past, I involuntarily rolled my eyes. 100 yards later, he turns and I get a middle finger in the rear-view mirror.

Why did he feel the need to do this? What did he gain from it? What possible motive was there for him to do so?

Because he is a man...and by flicking me off, he was able to reassert his biblical maniless after my eye-rolling took a shot at it.

At the end of the day, it doesn't make any difference to either of our lives. He waited for an extra second at the stop sign and and I saw something in my rear view mirror that I wouldn't want a four year old to see...

This is what men do...